You're confused? Really?

I received a phone call from one of my online coffee dates.  I had met this guy a good month ago.  We had coffee, nice conversation and decided we’d have dinner.   When I called him the following week to make plans, he had to cancel with me because he had to have a surgical procedure.  I spoke with him that following Sunday and we had a nice conversation and left it with he would call me in a few days.  I didn’t hear from him for about 2 weeks.  He then called me last week and left me a message about him being in training or something and he just wanted me to know why he hadn’t called.  I decided to call him back and got his voice mail, then left him a message.

Okay, now a week later he just calls me. We talked for a little bit, he asked me if I’d been on any dates, and I said no.  Not his business if I had or not really.  He asked me how I have been, then told me he’s still recovering and thinks the doctor messed up his procedure.  I then asked him if he was still interested in dinner.  This is where things went downhill.

He said he wasn’t sure, that there were things he needed to “work” out.  Um, yeah.  I say, “what things?” He told me he wasn’t ready to talk about it.  Then I asked him what it was.  I said he’s either having issues with his surgery, or is it a girlfriend he still has!

He comes clean.  Tells me he’s having issues with his ex-gf.  Says that she was the one taking care of him after his surgery and that’s why he hadn’t been able to call me for so long.  I asked him if he is still with her.  His answer was “I don’t know.”

How the fuck could you not know?

He said he just wanted to be honest with me.  He is really interested in me, I fascinate him, but he’s confused about where he is at with his ex.  Oh, here’s the kicker, he asks me where that leaves me and him.

“Well, Chuck, there is no me and you.  We just met, had coffee, I haven’t really had an opportunity to spend much time with you.  Do you want to get back with your ex?”

He says he may.  My answer?

“You need to decide what you want to do.  I’m not a consolation prize and I’m not second choice.  Why did you break up on the first place?”

They fought about everything. His watching sports, hanging out with his buddies, doing Ju-jitzu.  They fought so much, he just fell out of love with her, oh and he was no longer sexually attracted to her.  But, he’s thinking of going back with her.  Hmm

Now, here’s where my gag reflex started to kick in.  I had told him, that if he was going to be with someone, there had to be at least some sexual attraction.  Sex isn’t everything, but a relationship is hard enough, and when you have to have sex with someone you aren’t attracted to, it’s really difficult to sustain.

He then decides to ask me how long had it been since I’ve been with someone.  I was now curious and wanted to see where his line of questioning would lead to.  I’m funny like that.

I told him a couple of years, I lied, it’s been longer.  He asked me if I “touched myself” or “had dreams.”  I told him no.  Not completely true, but I wanted to gauge his reaction.  He then proceeded to offer his services.  Telling me that if I wanted, he could come over and really make me happy.  If he only knew nothing would make me happier than throttling him within an inch of his life.

After apologizing for his forwardness, I told him that he has obviously misunderstood my motivation for being on an online site.  I’m looking for someone to have a relationship with, I’m not just looking for sex.  Sex for me is secondary, because when you do have a relationship with someone, there comes a point where the sex dies down and you have to have something in common or an understanding with the person in order for you to stay together.

He offered to send me a photo of himself and I declined.  Then he said he needed to get back to work, and that I probably didn’t want to talk to him again.   Very astute of him.  Of course, I just said, “No, I’m fine.  Just let me know what you finally decide.”

My cell phone has this really interesting feature.  It’s called “Reject number”  You put someone’s number and you don’t even hear the phone ring.  It goes automatically to voice mail.  Yeah, I think Chuck will be the newest member of my reject list.

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It's all uphill from here.

It’s no secret to those that know me that I’m on a few online dating sites.   And that I’ve had my share of strange experiences and meetings. Let’s face it, I’ve met a lot of weirdos.  The guy I met last Friday was certainly no different.  In his profile he seemed like a nice, normal guy.  No kids, has his own business, his own home and an adorable Shih-Tzu who he adores.  I thought, wow, I hit the jackpot!  He also wasn’t unattractive either.

We decided to meet at Chili’s, just about a mile up the road from me.  So, I decided I’d meet him around 6ish and hang with him for about an hour, using the excuse of having to babysit for a friend if I needed an out.

When I walked into the Chili’s I texted him to see if he was there, and he was.  My first impression, he was shorter than his profile had said.  Okay, no biggie.  Men sometimes stretch the truth when it comes to their height, especially if they aren’t taller than 5’6″, which this guy wasn’t.  He introduced me to two women who were his friends, and we sat at the bar.  I began to notice, first he was looking at his phone way too much.  Not just looking, but texting.  Which I thought was unbelievably rude.  But, I let it slide.

Now, let me say this one thing about myself, I am not a touchy feeling person.  Especially with someone I’ve just met.  During out previous text conversations, he would keep calling me mami, which I get is a term of endearment, and that’s okay with me, I’ve got no problem with that.  But, he also kept sending me kisses and sending me these “coupons” for a big sloppy wet kiss.  Um…’scuse me?

He kept asking me if I liked him and that I was an enigma to him.  He said he was a super affectionate guy, and that he liked to show his affection.  I said, I was affectionate too, but I had just met him, and he could not expect me to be hanging all over him from the get go.  At one point, I guess my apprehension at sitting on his lap, which it seemed he would have preferred really bothered him and he started telling me he’s never had to work so hard at getting attention from a woman as he has with me.  He also told me he could call all the women who would love nothing more than a little bit of his attention and the line would be out to the parking lot, and isn’t it just funny how life is that you always want the ones that don’t care.

Holy flaming shit torch Batman!  I just sat there thinking, this guy’s nuts!  He has self-esteem issues or he’s super insecure or something is seriously fucking dislocated in his brain.  At 7:30 I decided I’d had enough and said I had to get going.  He asked me to text him when I got home.  I got home, texted him, just so he couldn’t say I didn’t care and he worried about me blah blah blah…

With that done, I watched some TV and went to bed with the gang.   I got up early Saturday morning, and went to a boot camp I’d been invited to.  I was pretty excited about it and since I’m trying to focus on getting to a healthy and comfortable weight, I thought this would be a good thing to do to really get me started for more serious work-outs.  Word of advice, don’t eat a power bar and OJ while driving to the boot camp and do not do 50 jumping jacks with said power bar and OJ fermenting in your tummy.

Yes, I nearly passed out and I threw up on the side walk in front of the next door shop. Oy! Luckily, the owner of the gym is a wonderful lady, and she helped me through it.  After a few minutes, I felt good enough to get up, go inside, rinse my mouth out and got on the treadmill to walk it off. The rest of my workout was low key, but I have to say, I’m happy I actually finished and I felt really good after it was all done.  On the way home, I bought a pumpernickel bagel with hummus and that’s pretty much all I ate until about 2:00.   On my way home, I also texted the weirdo and asked if he wanted to have lunch on Sunday.   I wanted to sit somewhere nice and quiet and talk to him a little more, and see if maybe I’d been wrong.  Oh, and by the way, since the Chili’s was his usual hang out spot and he had so many friends there, I wanted a place where he wasn’t so safe.  That’s another thing I thought was in a bit bad taste.  To make me meet him where he knew everyone, and I knew no one.

So, Sunday came and I woke up early to rearrange the gangs litter boxes and their location.  Maks has ruined the wood litter box cabinet I had under the stairs by peeing on it’s walls and it was getting impossible to keep clean.   I decided since they had no issues with covered boxes, I bought 3.  I put two under the stairs, separated then with a bookcase, just so they weren’t so close to each other, and I replaced the box in my bathroom upstairs, since Maks had also baptized the walls there too.  I was able to take the one out of the kitchen, so it gives me a little more space in there.  It took me a little over an hour, but I got everything done, then took a shower and sat on the couch to relax.

I never heard back about lunch, so I just stayed home.  At around 5:00 pm I texted the guy and asked him how his Sunday was.  He texted me back that it was nice and relaxing.  I texted him back that I guessed he hadn’t been interested in lunch, and the nimrod told me that since I hadn’t texted him he thought I’d changed my mind.  Okay, are you fucking kidding me?

Here’s what I’m thinking.  He got my text the day before, and felt it unnecessary to text me back and say yes or no.  Then he expected me to text him in Sunday to confirm?  I can’t confirm if I don’t even know you are interested asshole.  I was starting to get the feeling he was doing this because he wanted me to chase after him, since he’d already felt like I wasn’t as interested as I should be in his head.  No dude, I’m 42 and I’m not in high school.  I want to find someone to share my life with, I’m not looking for some insecure dipshit who wants me to chase after him.

So as it stands now I’m done texting him.  If he gets in touch with me I’ll feel the situation out, but I have a feeling this is going to go nowhere.  And you know what?  I’m fine with that.  Right now, I’m focused on saving some money, and getting myself into somewhat decent shape.  If I meet someone else fine, if not, fine.

It’s raining now, but I hope it doesn’t last all day.  I’d like to go walking later when I get home, and I’m hopefully going to get the pet stroller I ordered, so I’m looking forward to having some kitty company along.

I’m not going to get discouraged…it’s all uphill from here. 🙂

Fake meat!

In May it will be two years I have been a vegetarian.  I won’t lie, it’s been a hard transition.  At the beginning I pretty much ate rice and pasta all the time.  It’s only been in the last six months that I’ve really begun to get a handle on how to eat.

I confess, I love the taste of a nicely cooked rare steak.  But, the though of where it came from and what the animal went through for me to have that steak on my plate, is too much for me to bare.  My conversion to a vegetarian diet is an ethical choice, so it is difficult for me to break away from the flavor I loved so much.

Luckily, there are fake meats.  I can only stand so much Tofu, and really, I don’t have a real knack for cooking it and making it really tasty.  So, I began searching for alternatives.  Morningstar Farms makes some very good meatless burgers.  The two I particularly love and find that taste the most authentic are the Grillers Original and the Grillers Prime.  They have the flavor of a bar-b-que burger.  Also, the Boca Burger All American Flame Grilled is also good.  I don’t care much though for the other Boca flavors.

Recently, I found a company called Gardein.  Here’s the website: http://www.gardein.com/products.php?t=fresh

The food is amazing.  The taste is very close to authentic, VERY close.  And I love that they make it so easy.   Last week, I made the Tuscan breast.  It’s fast in the microwave, comes seasoned, with sauce, and all I had to add was some veggies as my side dish.  I’m getting my protein and veggies with the Tuscan breast, plus adding some veggies as my side gives me a bit more veggies.   Yesterday was Chik’n Scallopini with a little bit of pasta.  Today for lunch, I’m having a wonderful little thing called Burgundy Trio.  It comes in a small package, but it includes rice, sauce and meatless beef tips.

These products aren’t hugely expensive.  The Chik’n Scallopini brings 4 to a package, but the package I bought had 5.  It cost me $3.99.  A package of chicken can cost anywhere from $5 to $8!  And that will just bring say two small breasts or thighs.

When I get home, there are days when I just don’t feel like making anything, and that happens more often than not.  So what happens?  I wind up boiling a huge pot of pasta, or I buy a small pizza, or get a veggie burger at BK, with onion rings.

But, what I really love about the Gardein is, it’s pretty fast to make.  I get home, change and go walking, come back either stick something in the microwave, or put something in the toaster oven and go shower.  By the time I’m done showering, my protein is done and all I have to do is either make a salad or microwave some frozen veggies. I’ve scaled back on my soda intake considerably.  While I still allow myself sweets, I have cut back on those as well.  I’m drinking more water also.

I’m going to be 43 this year.  I’m in the worst shape I’ve ever been in.  I wasn’t in great shape when I was younger, but I was thinner, and I felt better about myself, plus, since I was younger it was easier for me to lose any weight I put on.  Not so now.  I’ve come to a point in my life when I have to actually work at it!

My only goal at the moment is to get to a point where I can actually look at myself in the mirror and my gag reflex doesn’t kick in.  For now, I’ll be happy if I lose 10 pounds.

Starting a new day.

My best friend, Lisa, works for Assurant Insurance and every year they participate in a corporate run. Last year I walked it in a little over an hour. This year though, I’ve decided I don’t want to drop dead, like I damn near did last year, and I’ve started walking around my neighborhood. I started last night. About the only thing I like about this time change is it’s still light out for a few hours after I come home. I walked for about 45 minutes. I took my time because I haven’t done any exercise in AGES, so I want to ease into it. I also decided since I’ve committed to doing some walking, I’d get this:

I figured, since I’m getting out I may as well see if my cats will enjoy getting out of the apartment and seeing the outside. I just hope once I get one of them in there, they don’t freak out.

Life Update

It’s been a long time since I’ve updated. I’m using Facebook a lot more. It’s just easier to post there. But, I figured I need to get myself back in blogging mode.

Work is giving me a bit of stress. Only because we’ve lost 3 clients and are trying very hard to keep our biggest client. They don’t want to let us go, but the union that their employees belong to wants to take over administration of their health insurance by creating a plan of their own. I’m hoping we will be able to keep them because if not, things are going to be really tight around here where money is concerned. I remain optimistic though.

The gang are doing well. Vlad celebrated his 3rd birthday at the end of February. It’s hard to believe he’s been with me 3 years! Oksana is next, she’ll be 3 in April, and then Maks and Kiska in August. Czarina is the only one who isn’t 3. She’s around 5 now and will be 6 in December, that’s when I celebrate her birthday.

On the social life front, I’ve been pretty damned popular on one of my dating sites. I’m averaging a new guy contacting me about once a week.

I met with one guy, Erik, who was really nice. He is also a cat lover and when we met for lunch it was nice that we both talked endlessly about our cats without worrying about looking strange. The one problem with him is, he’s got the Porky Pig speech impediment. Half the time he seemed to be speaking jibberish and the other half of the time I kept wanting to finish his sentences. It was hard to carry on a conversation because I didn’t get a lot of what he was saying. It may sound shallow, but honestly, by the time we finished our meeting my nerves were on high alert. I have anxiety issues and being around this guy would not work for me. I have to think this is why he never called me. We were emailing for about 2 weeks and even though I gave him my phone number, he never called me, so I’m thinking this is why.

I also met another guy, Chuck. We met for coffee last week. Nice guy. Shorter than what he said on his profile, but has a good sarcastic sense of humor. I met with him even though I got the feeling he was just pushing a little too fast. We were supposed to have dinner yesterday, but he called me in the afternoon and said he couldn’t. Something about doing tests for a hernia operation he’s having Friday. Don’t know what to think about that. I know, I’m too suspicious, but sometimes with good reason.

Guy #3 I’m meeting this Saturday morning. I’ve seen him on other dating sites, and he even contacted me once, but I never heard from him after that initial contact. Last week he emailed me and said he really wanted to meet me. We’ve emailed a few times and I’m definitely interested. He has two cats, so I know he likes cats at least. I had another guy contact me, who I was going to meet for lunch during the week, only to find out he was allergic to cats! I have 5 cats, why even bother contacting me if your allergic?

Anywho, I’m looking forward to finally meeting guy #3, whose name is Jim.

That’s about all going on with me. I’m still looking for a sofa and dining table. For some reason Salvation Army insists on pricing their usedgiventothemforfree furniture like it was new, so I’ve had no luck there. I’m keeping my eye open though.